Each one of us has some animal, bird, fish or other creature as a totem. Some of us have more than one and they come in the essence that we need them. I wanted to introduce you to two of my eagle totems that have been with me for the past four years.
Their names are Jim and Eleanor (named after my parents). They received these names as they showed up after my father passed and I was in a state of complete disarray in my life, confusion and hurt. My mother had passed 10 years before my father.
My father had willed me his house when he passed and it needed a lot of work done on it to sell it. It was filled to capacity with 'suff' that was of value to my parents and value to me in the sense that it belonged to them, however it was truly of no value to anyone that would come along and buy it. It was old, outdated. Most of the tables, chairs, lamps, etc. were hand built by my father as he was a carpenter in the winter. During the summer my parents were farmers.
I had to clean the house and decided after it sat there for a year, to have an auction sale as I had nowhere to put all these things in the house. During this time I realized that they were just that, 'things'. They were not my parents, they were not going to change the situation. They were just inanimate objects blocking my journey forward.
The cleaning process was very difficult for me as I was addressing issues from my childhood which included unhappiness, abuse. loneliness, fear and anger. I hated this house and it ate me up inside to return there every day. How dare they leave me the place I hated so much! I would cry on the way to the house and one day I just lost it and said, 'God if I'm doing the right thing, please send me a sign. Please send my totem to me.' (Back then I was very attached to the red tail hawk and knew that this was one of my totems.) Now I was asking for a huge sign. I begged God to send me a big bird and show me it was okay.
Almost the moment I let those words come out of my mouth, a huge black helicopter went over me and it was flying very low. In fact it was a major wake up message to me. God said, 'Is this a big enough sign?" I pulled myself together and went to the house to work and just shook my head. It wasn't a bird but it was big and black and flew. All day this was on my mind. When my partner arrived at the house, I told him what happened and he laughed.
That afternoon, I was driving back home and again I was in tears. This was a very emotional time for me, a cleansing time where I was addressing a lot of issues in my life. When I arrived at almost the same place that the helicopter had flown over me, I was given a message to stop. I pulled over to the side of the road and there in the huge tree overlooking Lake Erie, were two eagles - the two in the above picture. I just sat there and asked if they were sent to me in reply to my emotional outburst. The first eagle lifted off the tree and flew directly over my vehicle, almost at the same height the helicopter did. A few seconds later, the second eagle flew over me in the same place. I just sat and could not move for a long time. They were so majestic and graceful.
When I arrived home, a intuitive I know called me. She asked if I had an interaction with a pair of anything within the last hour. I told her yes and told her what happened. She explained it was the spirits of my parents showing me that they understood, they were there and they were okay with whatever I did. Again, shock that someone from another city called me to confirm my thoughts. I must have still had doubt in my mind for her to call when she did.
Well, the story gets better. I told my partner what had happened on the way home. He didn't see either of them. The next morning I drove out there to my parents, and one eagle was sitting in the tree and another was sitting in a tree about 4 miles down the road closer to my parents' house. When my partner arrived, he said he hadn't seen a thing. That day we left at the exact same time. He was following me in his truck. I got to a tree just up the road and again, I was told to pull over. There he was, the granddaddy of all eagles - huge and sitting out where I could see him. This was not one of the two that I had seen down the road, this one was huge. My partner pulled over behind me and he was amazed by the size and beauty of this bird.
I couldn't have received a more clear message. Everything was okay and they were all here to support me.
Every day after that, I would stop and talk to them from the side of the road. They would fly over occasionally and say hello. This went on for months.
Two years ago the pair was fortunate enough to produce two eaglets which soon grew to be as big as them. At times I would see the four of them in the tree, just looking over the lake like my parents would do from their kitchen table. Last year, the eaglettes had finally received their white heads and tails and this year they have not been in the tree with the parents - at least not when I have driven by.
The story continues... When I have an issue, when I am depressed or down, when I just need to feel the presence of my parents, I go to that beautiful tree that they sit in. Most times when I truly need them, they are there.
Earlier this spring, I was frustrated as 3 houses in the area had sold, however, my parents' house was still sitting vacant with a for sale sign on it. I got mad when I saw the third house with a sold sign on it and said some inappropriate words (actually I yelled them out). I screamed "Why the h..l is my house not selling, this is so unfair. (and a few other really inappropriate words). I looked out my window (lake side of the road again) and flying right beside me was one of my eagles and he flew almost down to my parents' house with me. I didn't understand the message. When I got past my parents' house, the other eagle was flying towards me, on the lake side of the road again, towards my parents' house. The message - it's okay. Meet in the middle. It's okay. Be patient. It will come. We are with you.
I laughed out loud after my verbal tirade and now I just wait for the end result to happen. I know they are there and I know they are giving me strength to get through this process. I know they love me even if they couldn't say it when they were alive. I know that life is exactly as it is supposed to be and I am exactly where I am supposed to be in this life.
Namaste, blessings, love and light to all.
Sheri Baldwin, RT
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